2 Loves in 1 Photo

Cats and Yarn - luckily my cat is old has has no interest in terrorising my poor yarn.

You are doing what when it is that hot?

Here in Arizona, summer is still not anywhere near ending, even in mid-September. Soccer season has begun for the kids, which means sitting in over 100 degree temps to watch practice. So what can a parent do to pass the time during such heat? Of course! Crochet a nice warm wooly poncho. Makes perfect sense...or not. I am pretty sure the other parents think I have heat stroke. I probably do, but there I sit, covered is a super warm poncho as I watch. Maybe next week it will be cooler...

Back, Back I tell you!

There is a scene in "Field of Dreams" where James Earl Jones's character pretends to spray something out of an old fashioned bug sprayer at Kevin Costner and yelling "Back to the 60's!!" Imagine me spraying legwarmers with this same device and yelling "Back to the 80s!". Now, I had a pair of maroon legwarmers with gold glittery thread running through them in 6th grade. I thought I was very cool. But that was in 1980 something. Since it is now 2009, I really want leg warmers need to stay in my tween memories and not something that my kids may ask me to make. I am semi horrified to see they have made a return... Sigh, it seems like everything does. At least no one is trying to bring back hoop skirts and powdered wigs.....yet.

Finally!

I am sure many of us think "Gee, I really wish I had dreadlocks" and then decided that you really didn't have the time to grow your hair out and let it become a matted mess. Or perhaps you wanted the braided hair that people get when vacationing in the Caribbean. No more waiting (or less waiting). Someone finally came up with a pattern for you (Cute little bows are optional).




I figured I would spare the model from having to relive doing this photo shoot. I am sure "oh good lord, do I really need the money this badly", was probably running through her head and she sat their faking a smile. I am sure someone was sitting in the background discussing how really cool their creation was. Sigh, they were wrong. But if this is the look you are going for, keep your hair clean, brushed and unbraided, and instead, pick up your favorite hair colored yarn.

Do we really need a pattern for this?

I must use liquid soap too much to remember the horrendous problems that soap can bring to a bathroom. I guess I figured having a soap dish was the rememdy for soapy messes that happen, but apparently that will just not do. The Soap Dish cover will solve all of those horrible soap scum catastrophes that plague our bathrooms. Instead of a ceramic dish that you can just wash out, you can have all the icky soap get absorped onto a sponge cover and I hate to think about how disgusting that will be after a few uses. Plus - really? I mean are there not enough other things we can crochet out there that we need to cover sponges? I really dont think I have made quite enough hats or blankets to need to break into the bathroom decor projects. Seriously, a soap dish cover? Just buy the liquid.....I am betting there will be a liquid soap cozy project someplace to add some yarn to your bath.

You wore what to exercise class?

I swear I am working on crochetted projects. I am slowly but surely finishing some winter scarves, but when it is 100 degress, it makes it hard to work on something for winter. I will take pics and write about those soon. However, this week, I am continuing with making fun of interesting crochet patterns.

I was perusing the Lion Brand Website when I came across this gem. Yes, this is a current pattern. No, it is not from their archives from when Staying Alive was in the theaters.


My guess is, you are supposed to wear this to yoga or interpretive dance class. Not sure why you would need neckwear if you are exercising, or the gloves for that matter. And a belt is always good to wear to hold up your tights and leotard. Maybe it is an outfit for praising some sort of idol or joining a silly walk society. Regardless of it's purpose, it certainly is not on my list of future projects. Unless someone has an 80's themed party.

Please, just buy a dress

So, Linda and I are out for our MNO (Mom's Night Out) which always ends with coffee drinking and reading magazines at a book store. Now, we usually pick up the few crochet magazines that are around, partially to find cute patterns and mostly to make fun of the hideous items that make crocheting look like something that only old ladies who can't get over the 70's do. We found such a pattern. I am flipping when I find what I think to be the worst item to give out as an idea.



Notice the Mother of the Bride - yes, that ensemble is crocheted too and the pattern is provided. Someone will pick up their monthy edition of the magazine and decide "Hey, that is a great idea." Unfortunately, they will be wrong. They should immediately bang their head on the table in order to make them forget what they just thought about. The magazine had more pictures and angles of the dress - No, they didn't help make it any better. The only redeeming item is the veil and no, that is not crocheted.

Now, don't get me wrong. There are a lot of very beautifully crocheted wedding dresses. Especially the vintage Irish crochetted lace dresses. Those do not look like this. Those are stunning. They do not use fatty yarn. This dress used what looks like the fatty acrylic yard I spent hours learning how to crochet with.

I guess at least this bride and her mom will be warm, but they should probably just go down to the bridal store and buy something.